By Guest Contributor

Sometimes relationships seem to end without warning and other times they seem to slowly disintegrate. Regardless of how the break up happens it is likely that at least one of the partners involved will have regrets. The regrets may be over the break up itself or things that led up to the event. For many, the only goal they have after a break up is mending the problems. Contrary to what you may believe, in more than 90 percent of all cases you really can get your ex back, but you have to use a sensible approach.

I will explain what I mean by sensible. First, you probably feel devastated right now. This is a natural response to a break up, especially if the deterioration of the relationship seemed sudden. I used the word seemed because in retrospect you may see that there were signs of the relationship losing its potency but you missed them along the way.

Take Care of Yourself
Initially you will need to take care of you before you can move forward. I always suggest that you take the time needed to adjust to the break up. I am referring to the loss of your significant other. It is natural to feel sadness, to cry, or to even go through a phase of depression. The key is to set a limit on this. In most cases three to seven days is plenty of time for that.

This does not mean that you will not continue to feel sad but you have to move forward. During your sad phase you may find that you want to spend time alone. Some people miss work and basically hibernate during this period. Obviously that is not the healthiest response for you. Instead it is advisable that you find friends to spend time with or at least get involved in a hobby.

After your adjustment phase you should take time to focus on you. I realize that it seems as though your relationship and a make up is being ignored right now but it really isn’t. You essentially are working on improving yourself, which will make you a stronger and more interesting person. In reality, some people find that after working on themselves they do not want to be involved in a relationship right away.

Regardless of that this period will give you time to think about the relationship and make rational decisions. By taking the time to think and evaluate the interactions between you and your ex you can better determine if the relationship was a healthy one that is worth pursuing.

How to Get Your Ex Back
If you decide that getting your ex back is still your goal then it is time to begin working on that. You might begin with a planned accidental meeting or with a short phone call. If you talk by phone, cut it short less than a few minutes, you need to portray that you are busy and have a fun life to get back too! Let your ex to know that you are involved with your new hobby and/or that you are now busy with your friends.

The purpose behind that is so your ex will know that you are a strong enough person to move forward. I am not a big advocate of playing hard to get but being self-sufficient will add to your attraction. After all, you really do not want to get your ex back based on pity or guilt. A relationship based on those grounds will not last.

So the key message if you decide to get your ex back, is use psychology, you need to portray yourself as being wanted by others, busy with all kinds of fun great things, and independent – you don’t NEED them; if you portray these things not only in the relationship, but after it ends, your chances of getting your ex back will be much greater.

You should also consider speaking with a Psychic Relationship Expert, by clicking on our sponsors banner below or calling them you can be put in touch with a Psychic Relationship Expert who can help you determine if you should move on or try to get back with your ex.

By Guest Contributor

Another chapter and a new journey begins after saying your “I do’s.” But staying happy during the journey is not like ‘one size, fits all’ notion. It is not a matter of how much love there is at the beginning, what matters is how much love you have cultivated along the way. To be happy in a relationship is never an easy task. There are rules you follow, principles to abide and there are things you must have to maintain a happy relationship with the one you choose to be with in your lifetime.

TRAIT 1: Love

Enough love for oneself could lead to leakage of that love towards your partner. It will be a radiating kind of love. I’ve always believed that you can never truly love another without learning to love yourself first. In order to be happy in a relationship, this love should be cultivated, nourished and fed. Otherwise, the seed you planted will not be able to grow. It is a kind of love that will have the power to move mountains and will overcome whatever comes your way.

TRAIT 2: Giving

By this I don’t mean material things. I would mean to give selflessly, putting oneself a second priority and have that of your partner first. Staying happy in a relationship would depend most on how each person gives and on how each person interacts in that two-way street. To put one’s partner’s needs on top priority is I think a gift that not everyone is fortunate to have. When both parties mastered this, it is easier for them to meet halfway.

TRAIT 3: Time

Time is the only element to prove one’s love. Time is also the one who has the power to make or break any relationship. If you have so much love in your heart but can’t give time to show it, it is rather empty and useless. Time is the best thing you can give to your partner. Just by staying for a few minutes listening to your partner’s musings is already bliss.

TRAIT 4: Communication

Establishing a good communication with your partner could lead to a happy and fulfilled relationship. Once you have mastered the art of communication, the pieces will just fall back to their places. Communication does not only involve talking but also more importantly, listening.

TRAIT 5: Honesty

One attribute of a person that can make up or destroy certain relationship is honesty. Being able to go up front and say the truth is I think the very thing that needs courage and discipline the most. This is because being honest involves huge risks. It involves the risk of total rejection. But once you are past that stage, things will become easier.

TRAIT 6: Trust

It is important in a relationship to have trust. It is the kind of trust that never falters. It is the kind of trust that you know your partner loves you. One caution though, too much trust could also break. Human frailty is the obstacle for trusting too much.

TRAIT 7: Understanding

When all has been said and done, the only thing left would be “understanding’. If you have this then there will be no doubt you can maintain a happy relationship. This will stand out alone. If you don’t understand then all efforts done to make the relationship intact is futile. Both party needs to compromise.

For valuable insight on how you can improve your relationship, you may want to consider speaking with a “quality” Phone Psychic Reader. Talking to a Psychic Reader is like having a peep at your own future, and will help you to realize if you and your partner are a good fit or if it is time to move on. If you know what lies ahead, then you will be able to make the right decisions. If you’re a woman and you need relationship advice, you have to make sure that you get it only from the best source – and that would be from the expert who understands you, your relationship, the people around you, and everything else that lies ahead.

By Guest Contributor

Getting divorced is hard any most people that have to go through it. It is a time that is considered very sensitive for most. This is not something that many people look forward to and in fact it can be something that is very disruptive to their lives. This is especially true when it comes to dealing with the in laws.

When you are dealing with the divorce and all the family members that you are now going to be divided from, you will have to take a well thought out approach to it. You may or may not be having a good relationship with them. It is hard to figure out what you are able to do and what is right. You need to dig down deep inside yourself and figure out what type of person you are going to be.

BE FRIENDLY
If your in laws have never done anything wrong to you, you owe them respect. You do not need to sever your ties with them just because you and your ex do not get along anymore. In fact, many people still see their in laws on a regular basis because of children that are involved or just because they have a special relationship with them. You do not have to make this time a difficult one and in fact it can be good for everyone involved.

COMMUNICATE
You should make sure that you are communicating with your in laws right from the start. If you have a good relationship make sure that you are expressing your love towards them. You want to them to know that you still value their love and you still want to be part of their lives. You need to make them aware that you have no intentions on ending the relationship with them just because you and your ex cannot stay married.

END THE RELATIONSHIP
If you are someone that has a rough and rocky relationship with your in laws it may be better to end the relationship at least to some degree. You may still have to see them from time to time especially if you have children that they need to keep in contact with, but you do not have to make the visits long or get too involved with the meetings. You can simply consider them acquaintances and you will not have to waste your time trying to be nice to someone that you do not like.

DIVORCE ON GOOD TERMS
You will see when you are in the middle of a divorce that most of the time the other person’s family is on their side. However, in some cases, you may not have to worry about this problem. You may be able to have a fair and calm divorce and this will allow everyone to remain friends. This is something that is definitely a good thing when it is achieved and it is something that will make both families a little more at ease for all types of family functions.

YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN COME FIRST
You need to keep your best interest at heart and the interest of your children as well. If you do have children and you are getting divorced, you need to make sure that you are not taking them from their grandparents and extended family. They did nothing wrong and do not deserve to be punished for any reason. However in some cases, it is no a good idea for the children to be around the in laws. You have to make sure that you know the facts and keep in mind what is best for everyone. You will see that when you do this and if you do make an effort, you will have less tension and live a more peaceful life.

For valuable insight on how to move on and make the right decisions after a divorce, you may want to consider speaking with a “quality” Phone Psychic Reader. Talking to a Psychic Reader is like having a peep at your own future, and will help you to realize if the divorce was the right decision for you and your partner. If you know what lies ahead, then you will be able to make the right decisions. If you’re a woman and you need relationship advice, you have to make sure that you get it only from the best source – and that would be from the expert who understands you, your relationship, the people around you, and everything else that lies ahead.

By Guest Contributor

A relationship usually starts out with enough sparks to start an inferno, but after a while, the flames settle down until you one day realize that there’s not much left — just a few dying embers smoldering slowly. This is how it is for most couples, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are 5 tips to stop the spark from going out in your relationship.

1. Dress up for your partner. When first dating, you put a lot of care into your appearance. You make sure that you look ‘just right’. You shower, you launder, you fix and the overall outward package is one that shows how much you want to impress your date. As the relationship progresses, the immaculate outward package deteriorates — they’ve seen you first thing in the morning when you look your worst, what’s the point of dressing up? Well the point is that it shows you care what they think of you. It shows them that you want to look nice for them. It also works for both parts of the relationship — you should both want to look good for each other. You can dress up to go out, or dress up to stay home, you can even dress up for the bedroom but be warned, that’s probably going to put more than a spark into your relationship!
2. Keep a daily snuggle time on your schedule. Life is busy, things get in the way of getting together with your partner, stuff to do, deadlines to meet and you fall exhausted into bed each night with a passing thought of whether or not you hugged your partner that day. Commit to at least a 15 minute snuggle period each day — the time of day is up to you, but make sure that you keep this time sacred and nothing gets in the way of it. You may occasionally have to move the time forwards or back in the day, but don’t allow anything to stop it entirely. This shows your that they are an important part of their life.
3. Do something different together on a regular basis. Get out, try new things. Go to a restaurant, see a different kind of movie to what you usually watch, take a short class, take up a new sport, visit a place you’ve never been before. The newness and sense of adventure that you share will help bring back some of the initial closeness you had when your relationship was new.
4. Put the laughter back into your relationship. Once the initial period is over and life settles down, a relationship lives on the day-to-day lives of both parties. The stresses and strains take over and one will worry about the other, and vice versa. Instead of concentrating on the stress making issues, find something that you can laugh about. There’s something funny about most situations, you’ve just got to find it. See which of you can see the funny side first!
5. Initiate surprises. Don’t allow the relationship to fall into a dependable pattern, keep it fresh! Plan a picnic without telling your partner (just make sure it doesn’t conflict with anything else first!), wear something sexy, put love notes in his pocket, send a sizzling email full of promises you’ve every intention of fulfilling, etc. Surprises don’t have to cost anything, sometimes the best ones don’t cost anything more than a little thought and a lot of imagination!

Relationships need to settle a little to allow them to grow, but that doesn’t mean they have to go from sizzling to stale — let them cool, but then use the tips above to keep the relationship bubbling.

If you are in need of help with your relationship, consider talking with an intuitive psychic counselor by phone, you can gain valuable insight into the future of your relationship.

Great video showcasing the talents of one of the worlds top ‘Love Psychics’ Jill Dahne (we apologize for the video quality – we do not host videos).

Jill Dahne is one of the world’s top ‘Love Psychics’ having predicted over 750 marriages; and, in 1992 predicted on television that in 1998 President Clinton would be involved in a sex scandal. She also predicted his Election and Re-election.

From her website bio:

Folklore has it that psychic ability is hereditary. Jill Dahne is living proof. As the daughter of renowned psychic, Micki Dahne, Jill has demonstrated a world class ability of her own.

When a young school girl, Jill was sent home early for telling the teachers what they were going to write before they wrote it. At the age of thirteen, Jill predicted, on radio, a terrorist attack one month before it occurred. Currently, Jill Dahne is listed as the #1 Love Psychic in “100 Top Psychics in America” and the Most Amazing Teenage Psychic in America in “Ripleys Believe it or Not”.

Named one of the top 5 psychics by Woman’s Own Magazine and American Woman’s Magazine, she has also been written up by the “Miami Herald”, the “Baltimore News”, the “National Enquirer”, the “Globe”, the “Star”, and a host of other publications.

By Guest Contributor

It is but common for lovers to get into quarrels. It is also a usual thing for married individuals to go through a phase wherein marital life seems most unbearable. All these could happen to a relationship. And when they do, you are going to need the best relationship problems advice that could direct you to the right path. A wrong decision could cost you the person you love.

If you let your heart get ruled by anger, you’ll end up being sorry for your loss later on. It is important that when you make major decisions about your relationship with someone, you have to be fully aware of the consequences. And what happens next should be something that you truly want. If you can’t decide on your own, there are counselors who can help you out. There are many kinds of them right now. But only a few can truly help you and would put your own concerns at heart.

To find if the counselor you’re talking to is genuinely concerned about you, you have to feel her care and guidance throughout the session. You can go to a psychologist or a love expert for relationship and martial problems. But one of the best persons that you can consult with is an intuitive counselor. These people provide relationship problem advices based on what they feel about you and what your future looks like. Easily described, intuitive counselors are psychic readers who could predict what’s in store for you and your relationship with someone.

This is where intuitive relationship counseling comes in. This is not your ordinary type of love counseling wherein you talk to a psychiatric expert and tell her all your love problems. It maybe similar but instead of a psychologist, you’re going to talk to a psychic reader. She is a person who can see the elements about you and around you, including all things that could affect you now and in the future. If there’s anybody who can help you most in your love problems, it would be this person.

Here, you will talk to the counselor for an hour or so and you’ll be free to ask her questions about anything that concerns you and your relationship with somebody. And if she’s really good, then this isn’t the only topic that you can talk about. You should be able to ask for career and personal advices too, apart from the usual relationship help that you needed.

By Guest Contributor

With so many stresses in life, it gets hard at times to keep a relationship strong. Finding time to work on saving a marriage can be difficult if you lead a busy life. All you need is advice on love to save your relationship, especially if you are overly stressed, busy and are willing to make your relationship work.

You have to remember that it is not about the amount of time that the two of you spend together, it is about the quality. There are three steps in which you can achieve good communication with your partner and save your relationship.

Step 1
The first step is to plan out activities the two of you can do and like to do as a couple. This can include a round of golf or grabbing a bag of popcorn and watching a movie at the movie theater, just as long as the activity is enjoyable for the both of you. The alone time is for you two to really connect, not just co-exist together. It will also allow you time to relax and unwind from the stress and this way you can have something special to look forward to during the week. You can have more memories to look back on, which creates a deeper bond.

Step 2
The second step is the subjects you talk about. When taking alone time or just in general, couples tend to only talk about how their days were or if they picked something up that was needed from the store. You need to make time each week to talk to each other, this does not mean to complain, but to really talk about things. Make it a positive time by talking about dreams and fun past times and let each other into your minds a bit.

Step 3
The third step is remembering. Remember what attracted you to your partner in the first place. After you remember that, you should tell them it. This is a form of positive reinforcement that many either forget or never say the longer the relationship goes on. It will make your partner feel loved and appreciated.

A loving relationship is one of the best things that you could have. Many people say that a relationship is hard and takes a lot of work, but that is not true at all. All you need is communication. The three steps mentioned is your own personal advice on love to save your relationship.

For valuable relationship insight, you may also want to consider speaking with a “quality” Phone Psychic Reader. Talking to a Psychic Reader is like having a peep at your own future. If you know what lies ahead, then you will be able to make the right decisions. If you’re a woman and you need relationship advice, you have to make sure that you get it only from the best source – and that would be from the expert who understands you, your relationship, the people around you, and everything else that lies ahead.

By Guest Contributor

Does your relationship seem to be currently on the rocks? Do you find yourself fighting with your better half practically every single day? Well if you are not really keen on ending the relationship and you still feel that it is definitely worth another try, here are some relationship tips to help you save your relationship from a possible break up.

Tip 1: Try to see it from both points of view.
If it seems that the two of you are having trouble even when it comes to communicating and it seems like you can’t even connect with each other anymore, then just try to give yourself a while to evaluate your relationship.

Especially about the things that has been happening between you and your partner lately. Try to see what are the causes of your current relationship problems and how the two of you have gotten yourselves in quite a stitch.

Think about how long the two of you have actually been dating, and how much has changed since your “happier times”. Try to think about the things that you could have done to have caused your fights as well as the things that your partner has done that you are not so happy about.

Just be honest about it and when you are ready to talk with your partner in order to fix your problems, then just tell him or her and in case he or she still needs a little more time, just be more patient and understanding about it.

Tip 2: Communicate.
Once the two of you have opened up to the idea of talking things through, keep in mind that this is definitely not the time for you to start pointing fingers at each other.

Instead of just blaming each other for the bad things that have been happening to your relationship, you should learn to just focus on the positive things and how these could help your relationship get better.

Remember, focus on how to work things out instead of going back and forth about the bad things that have happened. This way, the two of you will be able to move on and stop worrying about the past, instead, look forward to a better future.

Tip 3: Learn to compromise.
Just like with any couple – whether you are already married or just dating, relationships require a lot of work, even online dating. You need to be able to learn how to compromise so that you would be a better partner.

However, this does not mean that you should be a doormat or a pushover to your significant other’s every whim, you should also learn where and when to draw the line if he or she is starting to abuse your good nature.

If it is something as simple as just being able to text your loved one if you are going to go out with your friends or is going to be late for your date, then that is no biggie.

In fact, your partner should not even ask that from you anymore as that’s just a way of being respectful of your partner’s time and so that he or she would not get worried about your whereabouts. However, there are of course some relationship deal breakers.

Like if your partner does not want to have kids in the future then the two of you should seriously talk about that, then there are also other things that can ruin a relationship like credit debts, infidelity etc.

Tip 4: Consider a ‘Love Psychic’.
Talking to a Psychic Reader is like having a peep at your own future. If you know what lies ahead, then you will be able to make the right decisions. You don’t really have to follow the advice of the counselor right away. You’re free to evaluate things as they happen before your eyes. It’s like knowing where the holes are so you can leap over them instead of falling helplessly into the pit. You need but one hour to spend with an Intuitive Psychic Counselor to get the relationship help that you really need. If you’re a woman and you need relationship advice, you have to make sure that you get it only from the best source – and that would be from the expert who understands you, your relationship, the people around you, and everything else that lies ahead.

By Guest Contributor

If you’re a woman and you need relationship advice, you have to make sure that you get it only from the best source – and that would be from the expert who understands you, your relationship, the people around you, and everything else that lies ahead.

To keep yourself from going through all the pain over again, try to consult with a relationship expert. But before you do, you have to evaluate her credentials first. She has to be someone who truly understands the situation and takes your full interest at heart. There are many psychiatrists that offer the same services. But they usually charge too high a fee and would require you to come back for more sessions when all you need is a single advice. For such purposes, you can always turn to a friend whom you can call any time and request for a relationship advice whenever you want. Intuitive psychic counseling conducted over the phone is one of the best and most convenient ways to receive relationship advice for women. Whenever you are in doubt about your partner or if you think that things doesn’t look too good with your relationship with him, try to ask a intuitive counselor and ask her what she thinks and feels about you and your partner’s future together. Intuitive relationship counseling is usually conducted by a psychic reader. By talking to a psychic over the phone and telling her your story and then asking your questions after, you should be able to make sound decisions about your current relationship state. Through the intuition advice, you will learn if your partner is in for the long haul or is the type that flees from one relationship into another. Relationships are the most complicated stages that people go through. Without the proper advice, you can’t be assured of happiness that’s supposed to last for a lifetime.

But being hurt doesn’t mean you have to stop loving. You don’t end your relationship during its first trial. Every partnership goes through hurdles. It is one way to make your bond stronger and your trust with one another greater. However, it is also very hard to know whether or not your partner is going to be with you for the rest of his life. It is okay to go through all the pains and aches – if you know for a fact that your partner would stand through it all with you. What if he doesn’t? How can you know? Whenever a couple goes through marital problems, the most common questions they ask are “Should I forgive him or not?” “Should I continue with this relationship or end it right now?” These are the most basic questions. But they are also the hardest ones to answer. If a relationship advisor can answer these questions accurately, then she has just served you the best love advice. However, it is definitely hard to give a straight answer to any person who’s asking what to do with her love life – unless it is directed to a clairvoyant who has the power to feel and foresee the future. Such a service is called intuitive relationship counseling. Psychic readers can provide it. And oftentimes, the love advice you can get from these experts is the soundest one you can ever avail of. While you can always ask your closest friend what’s the best thing to do if you’re facing a relationship obstacle, an intuitive counselor could help you much better and in so many ways. Love advices are just the one of the things that intuitive counselors can provide. More than anything, they can also help you open your mind, explore your full potential, and make you a better person just after a single therapy session. You’ll feel renewed after a one counseling done over the phone. That’s how great and effective their abilities are.

A single caller in the District of Columbia asks Michelle:

DC Metro: What do you think about long distance relationships? I met someone at a wedding back in April who lives in Memphis and I’m in Maryland. We went to the same college at the same time and have lots of the same friends but never knew each other. It’s been nice to get to know him by phone and I like him thus far and he does plan to visit next month, but eventually you have to talk “future” before the relationship even becomes committed, right? I mean, you have to know if one person is willing to move otherwise both are wasting time. I’ve had a hard time getting commitments from men this area(DC) and I need a man who is ready for marriage and recognizes my value, which he is and does. He’s a real southern gentleman and comes highly recommended from our friends. What should I do? BTW, he’s 42 I’m 41 and I’m not getting any younger, the options are slim for Black women out here.

Michelle Callahan: With all of the technological options available today, long-distance relationships work for a lot of people. We have so many ways to get to know and keep in touch with each other that it gives you a good chance to see if you like the person before you make the leap to move closer. We have texting, cell phones, email, landlines, video chat, etc! In your case, it helps that you have some similarities in your background which make it seem like you may have some things in common with this gentleman. Don’t worry about commitment right away, just get to know him and enjoy his company. You can’t have a real conversation about where things are going, until they start going somewhere! Someone who doesn’t think they want to move may change their mind when they fall in love (and have a reason to move). Just take it slow, enjoy the company, and don’t make any “moves” until you both feel really good about it. Good luck!

Next Michelle takes a call from an Arlington Virginia woman:

Arlington, Va.: I saw your book and think I’m a Ms. Second Place and a Ms. Independent. Any suggestions on how I can start off on the right foot for a first date? I have one on Wednesday with a nice guy. Thanks and Go Blue!

Michelle Callahan: Well Ms. Second Place is always hiding in the shadows and letting her partner put her needs second so I would say you can start off by being honest about where you want to go and what you want to do on the date. Ms. Second Place often has a hard time speaking up and saying what she wants, so don’t pretend to like what you think your date likes, say what you want to do and help decide how the date goes. Now, Ms. Independent has been hurt in the past so she over commits herself so that she won’t have time for dating. If this date goes well, be sure that you don’t look for reasons (that aren’t legitimate) to sabotage things out of fear. If it was a good date, make time to see your date again and give things a chance. Good luck and yes…Go Blue!!

Another D.C. caller continues:

D.C: Thanks for taking my question. I’m at 28-year-old female of a particular faith, and I’ve always wanted to be with someone of the same faith and outlook. Unfortunately I haven’t had much luck with men of the same faith, and I get approached a lot more often by men of other faiths. I am trying to be open-minded and give these other great guys a chance, but in the back of my mind I know I won’t be comfortable with a mixed-religion marriage. Should I stop dating men of other faiths? I know of marriages where one spouse adopts the religion of the other, but it’s not really fair or realistic to start dating someone based on the hope that they’ll convert for me. So what’s a girl to do?

Michelle Callahan: Faith and fundamental beliefs are very important and do have an impact on the success of your relationship. It’s important to commit to someone who shares your values and world view. If you feel very strongly that you want your partner to share your beliefs then I think you may need to continue looking in more places. There may be singles events or other events sponsored by your group or the place where you worship that can help you connect with more people of similar faith. Also, the more friends you have of similar faith, the more they can introduce you to others of the faith. I am not in any way discouraging you from dating others outside your faith. If you want to, you should. But I’m hearing you say that you don’t want to but you feel like you’re running out of options. That’s no different than saying you have to date a “bad boy” because you’re having a hard time finding a “good guy.” Whatever you really want and value–don’t compromise! Keep looking and be creative by meeting new people in different places until you find the one:) Good luck!

All the way from Tallahasse florida, a caller asks:

Tallahassee, Fla.: Hello, I am a college student and I am a bit insecure about dating because I am saving myself for marriage. I feel like guys don’t want to date me after they find this out. What can I do to get over this problem?

Michelle Callahan: Don’t be afraid or ashamed to be exactly what you are! Our society is very sexually active so it is going to be harder to find someone who is also interested in taking things slower or waiting for marriage. Knowing this will help you be realistic about how people are going to react and to look for the signs that say a person is only really interested in hooking up. When it comes to choosing someone to date, it may help to be friends first so that the person already knows going into the situation what kind of person you are AND you already know what kind of person they are. If you walk into a lot of dates without some knowledge of the person first, you probably will catch each other a little off guard. Save yourself some of the first date drama by trying to weed out the ones you can safely guess aren’t supportive of your choices. Don’t be discouraged! Just let your light shine! You will eventually connect with the right one:) Good luck!

Another D.C. caller has a question about trust:

Washington, D.C.: “Trust” . . . I was in a relationship for a year, come to found out that he was still in contact with many ex’s throughout the relationship — in an inappropriate way (e.g., texts, pictures, e-mails, etc.). Jerk. It was a rough break-up, we tried to work it out but never ended it until I realized that I didn’t have any trust in him whatsoever. Now, a few months later, I’m super jaded and look at any man interested in me now as another jerk that can potentially do the same thing. What to do? Obviously time may help but I’m losing out in the end here, I’m sure. Thanks!

Michelle Callahan: I think you may need some more time off from dating to really heal. You can’t expect to go in anticipating disaster and not find or create one:) You really do need to be in a positive space so that you can relax and get to know someone. Processing some of that emotional baggage that you have picked up will help you leave behind the fear that the next guy is the same kind of jerk as the last. My book has a Ms. Typed Makeover Kit that provides exercises on how to deal with old feelings and how to plan for an exciting future. I would check it out so that you can create a whole new positive space and attitude for moving forward. Also, just take it real slow. Try going on some dates just for fun or hanging out with your male friends for male company without the expectation of anything more. If hanging out with guy friends still makes you think “potential jerk,” you need more time:) Good luck!

Down in Mobile, Alabama a woman asks:

Mobile, Ala.: I consider myself an attractive young woman (still in college) and I would like to go on more dates. Is there something I can do to meet a wider variety of men?

Michelle Callahan: The best way to meet a wide variety of men is to look in a wide variety of places. We don’t even realize that we tend to go to the same kinds of places and meet the same types of people all the time. Attend events that include people who like a wide variety of things from sports, music, travel, reading, spirituality, etc. Think about what kind of guy you want to meet and where you think he would be hanging out. Is he at a bar? Bookstore? Park? Rap concert or the theater? Church? There are so many different types of people that you should make friends with people from different backgrounds and walks of life and then spend time with them in their world. Each new place you hang out will introduce you to a new crowd. Good luck!

A Maryland woman asks Michelle:

Silver Spring, Md: I am a single women in my 30s with a small child. I do not have time to go to nightclubs or bars (nor would I go even if I had time). Where would you suggest I go to meet men? I use public transportation to go to work and see good looking men on the Metro. Would it be OK to approach them?

Michelle Callahan: I’m a big fan of dating people who you have some connection to, especially because you need to screen people well before you bring them into your world or around your children. I suggest meeting potential dates through other friends. Not necessarily as a blind date, but just as a friend of a friend. You can also look into meeting people who are part of your professional world like in a professional group that you are also a member of. Some of the dating difficulties we face come from dating someone we probably should have never been on a date with in the first place. If you want to approach someone on the Metro, have a few conversations by phone, text or email before you meet in person somewhere just so you can feel comfortable that you know what you’re walking into:) Good luck!

A New York City caller asks the following:

New York, N.Y.: How do you know if a guy can change? How do you know if it’s right to give someone another chance? I miss him, but I can’t imagine being in the relationship again as it was. He’s started therapy, but is that enough?

Michelle Callahan: People can change but usually only so much. I say wait until the therapy is over and he has had some time to really process and work through his issues. You know if they’ve changed by seeing changes in their interactions WITH YOU. Not just great stories about how they feel different, but YOU will feel different when they act different. If you don’t see the changes now while you are just friends, don’t feel like you have to risk your heart just to prove a point. Good luck!

And in closing:

Michelle Callahan: Thank you everyone for stopping by, submitting your questions and comments and participating in my chat. Wishing you the best of luck in life and love! Dr. Michelle